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The Guru Invades the World of Insomnia
July 14th, 2005
By Christopher Herz
The Health Guru / eCureMe LIFE
Well your Guru was melancholy my babies. Even though everything else in my
life was on the upswing, I couldn’t help but feel that there was
something keeping me down, and more importantly, awake at night. Sheep were
being counted by the bundles, but there was sadness in my mind and in my
heart made it impossible to lay my dome to rest.
Only problem was, I had no idea what it was. Rather than try to figure out
what was keeping me up, I figured that I need to get some sleep first before
I could deal with what was bothering me.
One step at a time people.
It’s OK America, you were trained to do that.
Now, whenever your Guru goes through his madness, he makes sure to document
all of it for you. After all, how can you give the cure for something if
you’ve never experienced it personally?
I was suffering from severe Insomnia. Couldn’t sleep a Van Winkle.
While I was busy not sleeping, I was trying to put together these remedies.
It’s amazing how many roads you travel when trying to figure something
out.
While walking the road of an insomniac, I tried a variety of items, except for
sleeping pills, as your Guru has turned the corner on western medicine and will
not devour anything that isn’t organic.
So before I let you in to what was keeping the nights so frightening, let me
tell you of way to cure your insomnia.
Routine: Monotony becomes easier to do and requires less energy. If you
don’t mix things up once in awhile, your body will learn how to expend
less and less energy that will still be around at night. The human spirit is
one that must constantly be evolving each moment. Try getting up earlier or
changing the time you actually crawl into bed. Perhaps not coming home
straight after work or taking alternate routes around your town will get your
mind working again.
Drugs: Well, if you smoke herb or do other such things, the likelihood is that
your sleep cycle will depend on how much you take and how much your body needs.
Even if you are taking stimulants such as coke, coffee or meth, you will not be
able to get to sleep until your body has gotten its full dose. This is really a
drag because in essence, your body is craving things that might keep you awake.
While drug addiction has many side effects that last long after the false coolness
of the moment goes away, one of the most damaging is to your sleep patterns.
The less sleep you receive, the greater at risk your immune system is at.
Those bags under the eyes of an addict are not from the drugs themselves, but
rather from the lack of sleep. The sleep you are getting is not a deep sleep,
so even though you close your eyes, trips to dream land may just have been a pass
out at the buss stop. Lighten up on what you put your body. The Sandman
can’t find your address if it’s too hazy in your mind.
Exercise: While you need to keep in shape, working out before you go to bed,
usually up to 5 hours before you go to bed, might be leaving you with that
extra boost during the Midnight hours. Try doing your exercises early in the
morning, before you eat breakfast. This will give you the energy you need
throughout the day but at the end, but will allow for a nice, mellow transition
towards dreamland when the hour gets late. Those 50 push ups you do before bed
might be tightening your chest, but it is giving your mind more energy to spin
around with the alley cats for those extra hours.
Bed Chilling: Some people like to chill out on their beds when they’re
not sleeping. Bad idea. If you become used to sitting on your bed when your
doing something other than sleeping or having sex, your mind creates an
association with the bed other than sleep. When it comes time to start slaying
sheep into the darkness, there is nothing to be done because you’ve
already been on your bed and your mind’s going, "What’s up?
Weren’t we here eating and Hot Pocket and watching a movie a few hours
ago?" Keep the bedroom for slumber and fun, and leave the rest of the
house for everything else. Although sex in other rooms in the house won’t
prevent them for being used for their proper uses.
Reading: Yes, you all remember books, no? Watching television does not relax
your mind, it only tires your eyes out. What you are doing is boring your
mind to sleep when you pass out in front of the tube. Those gamma rays shooting
out are not soothing. In fact, they may be stimulating you even further, and
could be creating dependences in your subconscious. Try popping open a book
before you hit the sheets. The work done by your mind will tire out your
conscious self and allow your subconscious take over so you can have a shower
of stars for a lullaby instead of a river of anxiety.
Coffee: Needless to say, if you’re drinking more than a cup and a half of
coffee a day, your sleep patterns will be as erratic as your shaking hands from
the caffeine. Your Guru has already dropped this information on you, so check
back into the archives for ways to get yourself off of the all controlling
brown bean.
Smoking: For all of you smokers out there who think having one smoke before you
go to bed or after you eat will help with your digestion, all you are doing is
speeding up your metabolism, which will keep you up longer, causing you to
reach for another smoke. See the cycle of addiction creeping in again? Even
in your sleeping patterns. If you’re past you early 20’s, you
can’t be cool anymore regardless, so kick back on the final smoke into
the night. Your mind is actually tightening up, not unwinding. We have enough
restless souls walking the earth - your footsteps are not needed to add to
the chorus of the baggy-eyed.
Baths: Perhaps there are just too many toxins in your body to get a proper nights
rest. Try taking a short, hot bath with some Epson salt (one to two cups should
do it). This is a natural way to alleviate yourself of all the nastiness you may
have acquired during your day. Don’t over do it. Too many baths will
cause you to be a lazy blob, instead of the rejuvenated, well slept person we are
aiming for you to be.
Warm Milk: Drinking warm milk is not just an Old Wife’s tale. Milk has tons
of Calcium, which is a natural relaxant for your hyped up nervous system. No,
Cocoa does not count because the sugar it contains will have you running laps
instead of heading for the locker room.
Yes, your Guru has millions of different ways to say "going to sleep."
Turning your Clock Around. Looking at those big red numbers go deeper into the night
may put more stress then you can handle on your mind. "Damn, it’s two
O’Clock and I’m still awake," is not the mantra you want to be
repeating to yourself as the night winds down.
Sleep Positions: For all of those who sleep on their sides or their backs, this is
crushing all of your organs and not allowing your body to relax. Sleeping flat on
your back with your feet elevated can also help to relive a number of lower back
and neck problems you may be having. Although a bit uncomfortable at first, as is
everything you try for the first time, it will give you better rest and posture for
the long haul. You’re all in until the end, so you might as well have all of
your faculties with you.
So there you are. Your Guru has tied it all up for you and it’s up to you
to unwrap what works best for you. So what was keeping your Guru up? Well, there
was a bit left over in the mind from childhood that was brought up with the recent
Father’s Day activities.
There was some relationship issues that had been hidden for so long that they
were manifesting themselves into insomnia. I had to first cure the medical
condition so that I could get at what was irking my mind. It’s all
balance.
Good luck in finding yours. Your Guru will always show you the light.
It’s up to you to replace the bulb.
Peace.
H.G.
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