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The Guru Learns to Deal with Office Politics
May 11th, 2005
By Christopher Herz
The Health Guru / eCureMe LIFE
What up my People.
You’re Guru is in Beverly Hills this week, tucked deep in the surreal
world of Gucci wearing dogs and the women who walk them and the men who
pay for the women who walk them.
Inside an office looking out over the Hills, I’ve had an opportunity
to lounge a bit as I put together some materials for a new start up company.
I’ve been working for a few offices for these past few months,
and I’ve noticed some things about how the "Office People"
live. While there might be a look of sleekness and sturdiness on the
outside, the inside goings on are Pitfall (Atari style) holes that are all
easy to fall into a never ending unhealthy drop.
I see potential going to waste as people get lost in petty problems,
giving in to stress and anxiety, manifesting into talking behind
people’s backs and sabotaging of projects. If you don’t have
a fin on your back, you’re going to end up at the bottom of the ocean.
So what are you to do? Be a peaceful goldfish in a sea of sharks? Now,
you know your Guru would not have you submit so easily.
So then, the Guru is going to show you how to battle in the office while
still maintaining a shred of dignity and a healthy outlook on everything.
The first thing your Guru noticed was the constant eavesdropping that’s
going on. Eyes shift all over the place with each phone call. There is so
much spent worrying about what other people are doing and saying as well as
available projects out there that you will neglect your own work and focus
on what others are doing. Stop eavesdropping - you’re only
hearing half of the conversation anyway.
The fact is that if they haven’t asked you to do it, they’re not
going to let you do it. That’s the way it works. If you don’t
Jones for every little project in the works, the ones that you are qualified
for will come to you. This can eliminate a huge amount of stress for you.
Hey Brawlers! You know that you feel the need to put a Camel Clutch on
people you work with, but that’s only because you are not telling
them what you’re thinking. Perhaps al little confrontation is a
good thing. Show some backbone and let your thoughts be heard. If you
don’t, you’re just another drone. Nobody wants that.
Anger that festers inside of you will likely have you boil over about silly
things like dishes in the sink or not changing the water bottle rather than
what’s really going on. Get to the root of the problem first.
Letting things settle never did anything but give people ulcers.
What else?
Eat.
Yes my friends, your Guru knows that you’re looking to drop a few
LB’s as the summer months start to get closer, but by starving yourself
in the office, your temper is going to get quicker and easier to trigger the
more you don’t eat. If your blood sugar gets low, your nerves are
more on edge. Besides, you know you’re stuffing your face after
midnight when the hunger pains really start to kick in.
Don’t front on the Guru.
Try making or bringing in some snacks for you and your co-workers to
munch on during the day. It gives everyone a little break and a rush to
one of their senses. Any pleasure inside the confines of an office is
always welcome.
Brush your teeth. Besides doing a service to people you are in meetings
with, giving an extra little brush to your teeth is essential for feeling
fresh and working without discomfort. Bring along a little bottle of
mouth wash as well and it’ll give you a bounce in your step as you
walk those office floors.
Plants are huge to have at your desk. They are producing Oxygen which in
turn gives you energy and the ability to work better. Also, with life on
your desk constantly growing, you will be reminded that the world is
constantly changing and in motion. Taking care of another life is a great
way to make sure that you are taking care of your own. Leave your babies
and pets at home. They’re only cute for a few minutes.
Happy Feet. If you’re wearing shoes and socks at the office, it
might be a good idea to bring a change of socks with you. In the middle
of the day, perhaps even after lunch, sneak off into the bathroom and
change your footwear. You might even want to kick your shoes off underneath
your desk and give your feet time to breath a little. Be sure to change
your socks before then, as you don’t want your funk to flow
throughout the land of cubicles.
If people are going out for smoke breaks, you need to go out for a breath
of fresh air. Stick your face up into the sun and smile a little bit -
it’ll give you a boost of energy and get you out of the office. It
is important to realize that there is a world that exists outside the
confines of your office.
I see people so into their offices that even when they take breaks, they
talk about work and the inner workings of the office. Try to get out of
that and know that if you are talking smack with someone, the likelihood
is that they will be talking the same about you in a matter of minutes.
Keep everything positive - we already know that spitting out negative
energy creates even more negative energy.
Being healthy in your office can keep your blood out of the water, because
swimming with sharks requires a burst of energy that can only be
maintained with a healthy lifestyle.
That and a glass of good red wine.
Peace.
H.G.
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