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The Guru Gets Stuck!
April 17th, 2005
By Christopher Herz
The Health Guru / eCureMe LIFE
I feel you America. I know you’re looking up the newest wonder
drug and trying to hear what the side effects are while they’re
reading them at blazing speed at the end of the commercial.
¡¦May induce penile dysfunction or a dryness in vaginal fluid, dizziness
or stroke¡¦
You’re not looking to get any of those things now, are you?
Didn’t think so.
So what do you do?
Well, hopefully you’ve been listening to your Guru over the past
few years and taking down what I’ve been laying on you, but the
likelihood is that most of you have not.
Now it’s time to get stuck with the needle. No, it’s not
a medieval payback.
Tracing back the roots of acupuncture is impossible because it has been
around longer than recorded history. Western History, that is.
The practice of acupuncture can be traced back over 4000 years to China,
where it took form and spread throughout the Eastern world in various
incarnations, with each culture developing and advancing its practice.
The earliest forms of acupuncture are based in the spiritual practice
of Yin and Yang, centering on the directional flow of life, which is
the base of all Eastern Philosophy as well as scientific and medical
practices.
So what does acupuncture do?
Those needles are redirecting the energy and flow of your blood
throughout your body. It is believed that your body has meridians,
like those of flowing rivers that carry blood to each of your vital
organs.
It’s the OG UPS system.
When a needle goes into your skin, it is unblocking one of these
meridians, which is causing a clog or a stop in the movement in your
body. These Meridians carry blood to your vital organs, insuring
proper movement and a keeping you loose and feeling good.
Sounds like what all of those commercials are advertising.
The practice is geared towards freeing up the body to operate in its
natural way, instead of taking pills that alter your chemistry. The
needles redirecting the blood flow are actually doing the same thing
as modern medicine, although the process can sometimes take longer
then the immediate gratification of popping a pill, with the same
results and without side effects.
I’ll tell you this:
For most of my life, the pain in my lower back would often times keep
me in bed, unable to get up and start the day. After two sessions in
which my acupuncturist stuck a series of tiny needles into the back
of my heel and in my lower back, it has not hurt once, not once,
since then.
This came after spending hundreds of dollars on medicine and
chiropractors.
She explained to me that a series of stressful events had restricted
my blood flow and that I needed to be corrected.
Now, you know that your Guru is down for anything mystical, but I
tell you what my people.
"What Guru?"
After she stuck the last needle inside of my ankle, she told me that
some people believed that aliens came down and explained this to the
mystics, showing the key to human health and existence and just how
the body works.
I’ll stick with the Yin and Yang flow of life, but if you’re
down for aliens, I’m sure you can find significant information to
back up those claims as well. This philosophy centers around the fact
the negative and positive must always be directed to off set each other,
thus creating a balance in the universe.
Hey, if it’s good enough for the universe, it’s good enough
for the body of the Guru.
Everything is, after all, what you want it to be.
The practice of acupuncture is the same way.
Now, you must be asking, in fact I know you are asking, "What can
this do for me Guru?"
Check out some of the KNOWN things that acupuncture helps with:
Back Pain
Stopping smoking
Indigestion
Infertility
Stress
Headaches
Arthritis
Carpal tunnel syndrome
Asthma
Allergies
Bronchitis
Constipation
Migraines
Insomnia
That’s millions of dollars and the cure for hours of pain and
discomfort. Shhhh¡¦Drug Lobbyists may be listening.
Now, your Guru knows that some of you are afraid of needles out there.
You might be having flashes of 5-inch needles penetrating your
skin.
You need to check yourself.
They are tiny little pokey needles that barley pierce your skin and
stay there with even less pain.
It is as if you are placing a stick in a flowing river in an effort to
change the direction, clearing out the mess and settling you into a
peace state of streamness. The thing with acupuncturists is they know
every inch of your river bank, and know where to put your fluids so
that your body can regenerate itself naturally and drug free, which is
how we are supposed to live.
Don’t be a slave to the pill poppers my friends. The only side
affects from acupuncture will be calmness and serenity, which may be
more of a shock to your system than anything.
Peace.
H.G.
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