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The Guru Gets Stuck!



April 17th, 2005

By Christopher Herz
The Health Guru / eCureMe LIFE




I feel you America. I know you’re looking up the newest wonder drug and trying to hear what the side effects are while they’re reading them at blazing speed at the end of the commercial.


¡¦May induce penile dysfunction or a dryness in vaginal fluid, dizziness or stroke¡¦


You’re not looking to get any of those things now, are you? Didn’t think so.



The Guru Gets Stuck!


So what do you do?


Well, hopefully you’ve been listening to your Guru over the past few years and taking down what I’ve been laying on you, but the likelihood is that most of you have not.


Now it’s time to get stuck with the needle. No, it’s not a medieval payback.


Tracing back the roots of acupuncture is impossible because it has been around longer than recorded history. Western History, that is.


The practice of acupuncture can be traced back over 4000 years to China, where it took form and spread throughout the Eastern world in various incarnations, with each culture developing and advancing its practice.


The earliest forms of acupuncture are based in the spiritual practice of Yin and Yang, centering on the directional flow of life, which is the base of all Eastern Philosophy as well as scientific and medical practices.


So what does acupuncture do?


Those needles are redirecting the energy and flow of your blood throughout your body. It is believed that your body has meridians, like those of flowing rivers that carry blood to each of your vital organs.


It’s the OG UPS system.


When a needle goes into your skin, it is unblocking one of these meridians, which is causing a clog or a stop in the movement in your body. These Meridians carry blood to your vital organs, insuring proper movement and a keeping you loose and feeling good.


Sounds like what all of those commercials are advertising.


The practice is geared towards freeing up the body to operate in its natural way, instead of taking pills that alter your chemistry. The needles redirecting the blood flow are actually doing the same thing as modern medicine, although the process can sometimes take longer then the immediate gratification of popping a pill, with the same results and without side effects.


I’ll tell you this:


For most of my life, the pain in my lower back would often times keep me in bed, unable to get up and start the day. After two sessions in which my acupuncturist stuck a series of tiny needles into the back of my heel and in my lower back, it has not hurt once, not once, since then.


This came after spending hundreds of dollars on medicine and chiropractors.


She explained to me that a series of stressful events had restricted my blood flow and that I needed to be corrected.


Now, you know that your Guru is down for anything mystical, but I tell you what my people.


"What Guru?"


After she stuck the last needle inside of my ankle, she told me that some people believed that aliens came down and explained this to the mystics, showing the key to human health and existence and just how the body works.


I’ll stick with the Yin and Yang flow of life, but if you’re


down for aliens, I’m sure you can find significant information to back up those claims as well. This philosophy centers around the fact the negative and positive must always be directed to off set each other, thus creating a balance in the universe.


Hey, if it’s good enough for the universe, it’s good enough for the body of the Guru.


Everything is, after all, what you want it to be.


The practice of acupuncture is the same way.


Now, you must be asking, in fact I know you are asking, "What can this do for me Guru?"


Check out some of the KNOWN things that acupuncture helps with:


  • Back Pain
  • Stopping smoking
  • Indigestion
  • Infertility
  • Stress
  • Headaches
  • Arthritis
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome
  • Asthma
  • Allergies
  • Bronchitis
  • Constipation
  • Migraines
  • Insomnia


    That’s millions of dollars and the cure for hours of pain and discomfort. Shhhh¡¦Drug Lobbyists may be listening.


    Now, your Guru knows that some of you are afraid of needles out there. You might be having flashes of 5-inch needles penetrating your skin.


    You need to check yourself.


    They are tiny little pokey needles that barley pierce your skin and stay there with even less pain.


    It is as if you are placing a stick in a flowing river in an effort to change the direction, clearing out the mess and settling you into a peace state of streamness. The thing with acupuncturists is they know every inch of your river bank, and know where to put your fluids so that your body can regenerate itself naturally and drug free, which is how we are supposed to live.


    Don’t be a slave to the pill poppers my friends. The only side affects from acupuncture will be calmness and serenity, which may be more of a shock to your system than anything.

    Peace.

    H.G.




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