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"The Guru Straightens You Out"
A guide to correcting poor posture and walking tall in a crazy world.
March 8th, 2005
By Christopher Herz
The Health Guru / eCureMe LIFE
"Don’t be such a slouch."
"Shoulders back, head up."
"Walk tall."
Despite these overly American cliche’s, I still see people
walking around with their shoulders slumped and their heads hanging
low to the ground. In fact, as of recently, I had been seeing this
person starring at me in the mirror looking around to see if I was paying
attention to him.
I wasn’t of course, because who pays attention to someone who
doesn’t respect themselves enough to stand up straight?
Everything mental floats down to the physical at some point.
The massive amount of decisions that need to be made floating around
inside your mind are actually starting to weigh you down. Feeling the
weight of your problems?
So what to do?
You Guru is about to lay it on you. Having perfect posture is going to take
a lot of work if you are to correct years of inactivity and slouching.
Next time you walk past a car window on your stroll down the street, take a
look at your reflection and look at how straight you are standing.
Think about it.
Now throw your shoulders back, so that there is a straight line in you back.
How much taller are you? How much self confidence do you now have? Well,
you’ve only walked a few steps, so don’t expect everything to
change around in an instant, but you get the idea. Here are some tips to
improve your posture, which will in turn allow you to feel on the level with
those who already know the secret.
- Ah Sit Ups. People fight through pain in order to get that washboard
stomach, only to find themselves hunched over, asking someone to pass them a
doughnut years down the road. Sit ups, done improperly, such as straight
legged or touching your right elbow to your left knee, can cause nasty
pressure to be put on your back. If you’re going crazy under the couch
and you feel a pop, stop.
- Your Guru knows you like to max out with mad pillows and pretend
you’re floating around the sky in a specialized cloud with a nice
system, but having your back propped up in that position puts a strain
on your lower back. Face it, you do it because you saw it in a movie once.
Sleep with your feet on top of a few pillows and your back and head flat
on the mattress. Try it for three days or the Guru will give you your
time back. Sleeping on your stomach is the worse then a bed of nails for
your future.
- Stretching. Yep. Before your start your dash across the floor, before
you meditate, you must reach down and try to touch your toes. If you
can’t, don’t bend your knees. All stretching exercises need to
be done while your back is straight. Otherwise, you’re cheating- and
this isn’t high school Algebra class, so go down as far as you can.
You should be able to do it within a week.
- Intellectuals: Hey, deep guy, yeah you, with your hand on your chin at
the coffee house trying to figure out the meaning of life with your chin in
your hand. You’re messing up your spine, which will cause that slouch
you see so many people with who have spent most of their lives contemplating
their futures. Just goes to show you that staying in the present helps
tremendously.
- If you’re reading this right now, the likelihood is that you are
doing so on a computer. How are you sitting? Do your shoulders, booty and
knees make a 90 degree angle? Those of you with Laptops, are you looking
down with your eyes or are you looking like you’re going to ring a bell
at Noon? If you’re going to spend much time in front of a computer
screen, make sure you are making a conscious effort to sit up straight.
While it may limit your mobility at first, you will find you waste less
time, as it will force you to deal with things in a more isometric manner.
- Remind yourself. It is difficult to remember how to go about doing
something like that, so get yourself a bracelet or ring or some accessory
that you will always have with you. You will find how easily you slip back
into old practices. Are you slouching in your chair again? Don’t
slip, your Guru is always watching.
So why is it so important? Because you are mortal and you are going to
grow old. During those times, and as time goes on, you will notice that
it is harder and harder to stand up straight. Straighten up now while
you still can.
Also, your breathing is forced to be at a more rhythmic pace when your
back is straight. You will breath deeper and healthier. Your self
confidence will be over the top because you physically resembling a
structure with a foundation that is not toppled quickly.
People look for these things.
Your Guru wants them to grow from within.
Peace.
H.G.
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